"Dream Dimension Stream"

What a night for living! Have all of my dreams really come true? Are their spiders lurking in the corners? Are there strange people in the back room? Will I never see my love again? Will my body break down into singularities? Will I find a dungeon bathroom, and get crushed by the ascending ceiling? Does this mean that every time I win the lottery, I win just enough. Does this mean that I can fly at will? Does this mean I can’t die? Can anyone hear me? Can anyone see me? Can anyone tell me where I am? I don’t know if I can talk or walk, but I know that I can’t go back if I wish. Where will I end up next? Maybe I will be in some old dark tavern with a drunken shark wearing pearls. Or maybe I will find myself back in school searching for my room. I never know where I am going to end up next time; I just can’t foresee this now. I wish I could be on the beach sipping mai tais and relaxing in the sun, but if I go there I know I will meet a banana spider that only wants to chomp on my neck. It’s horrible! A funny bone feeling of the whole body comes washes over with that insect with very sharp pin teeth holding on to my tender neck tendons. I can never relax here. . . I can never relax here. I can never relax here, but I can see in the dark. Sometimes I get the rare feeling that I have been in this scene before, a house is the same, a family, a name, a feeling, a smell, a sound. Rewind those feelings and scramble them, let me make new sense of them; let me make a new world now. I am tired of this one, so boring, so linear, so stagnant, and so cyclical, so near. I can feel it when I come up to the surface, I feel like rubber and sand. I feel like a rubber band . . . then, SNAP!!! Right back where I need to be, it’s dangerous but I love it. Give a tornado made of metal drill; give me a rainbow more vibrant than neon gas. Throw me in the mix of this dimension, I don’t mind it. Let me stay and find it. Stab me, crush me, fuck me, burn me, trick me, spook me, excite me, love me, save me, grave me. . . I don’t care. I am only afraid of the many-legged demons, those fuzzy trappers. They paralyze my entire body . . . and shock me with their other world electricity. I only see them when a light goes out. I hate them! Half as worse as that is finding myself in a dark room, on top of a shelf. A child, frightened and shivering is I looking at the little white dog on the floor. It’s looking at me. Its not barking, but it is looking at me. The white dog looking at me with its large mouth closed. Then without warning it is right up on the shelf next to me! I can feel its hot breath on my neck and eyes. I can feel it but I don’t look. I can feel it’s hundreds of sharp, crooked, needle teeth rest against my neck, but I don’t look. I don’t have to look to know what it is doing. It closes its jaw just enough for me to feel a slight sting of the needles. It is breathing heavier and louder, then nothing. Oh, most of the time I try to weasel out of the fog when this happens, only to find myself heavy and sweaty and completely aware that I am a solid human in my bed. So sad and so sweaty. I just drift back to dream for years and years. I don’t age. I never feel joint pain, and I never feel hungry or thirsty. I am myself and I am not myself tonight and night after night after night. I am sometimes lonely, and I sometimes distressed . . . but I am never depressed. I am sometimes heart broken and I sometimes cold. .  but I am never old. I am sometimes aroused and I sometimes mated . . . but I am never jaded. If this is where I could exist all of the time I would miss seeing my love whenever I wanted. I would not miss: work, laundry, dishes, social obligations, remembering dates, cooking, cleaning, ironing, paying bills, shopping, mopping, showering, dressing, driving, guessing, tripping, sipping, vacuuming, trying, lying, fluffing pillows, weeping willows, cats, dogs, rats, frogs, neighbors, complainers, children, thieves, dead leaves, destruction, road construction, vomiting, painting, fainting, television, ignorance, intolerance, and negligence, swamps, sewers, lawyers, lawn mowers, babies crying, airplanes flying, mud on my shoes, same old news, ice on my windshield, funerals, underwear, remembering to clean the toaster of its crumbs, crooked thumbs, polluted lungs, taking pills, jogging up hills, robbers, scabs, hairs, and cares. I could really do without. Half my life in waking, I would rather not go through with it when I think about it. I forget about all of these things in the waking life that I do not like. It is too much! Maybe the waking life is not as scary and maybe not as screwy, but it definitely is not boring and detestable. You have to be free from your waking life fears if you want to have the most fun in your dream life.

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