“Nightmare #5”

Somehow I am in my old bedroom. The one from my childhood. The lavender carpet and walls that used to calm and soothing,  now  provoke me into an uneasy and anxious state. The door is open slightly. I hear scuttling on the wooden hallway floors just outside my bedroom door. I climb up on my bed in fear and wait. The outside glow is red and forbearing as it blankets my room in a disheartening glaze. My bed is larger than usual. Something is in my room. My eyes close. There in my old, lavender bedroom, it waits for me to step one foot on the pastel carpet. I don’t move. I don’t breathe.  The creature waits. I don’t move and breathe for hours. Trusting my instincts, I get down from my bed and go to close the door. My foolish act gets cut short by a movement in the corner. The corner where my long, white  window curtains  brush the floor. It is hiding underneath them, wiggling and ready to attack. I want to leave, but I don’t. I step one step. The curtain shudders. I prepare my nerves for  pain and walk slowly to the curtains. The walk takes hours as if my feet are heavy with concrete bones. The curtain is still. The room is quiet. I bend down to see what is underneath the gauzy white fabric. The lump under it is still. I reach out my hand to touch the shrouded creature. I feel a hard shell underneath the cloth. I retract my hand with shock and turn to leave the unusual creature. I don’t want to see it. Without warning it is in front of my bare feet! I can’t scream! My throat is swollen with anxiety. The creature is small and it is breathing heavily. With the body of a turtle and crablike legs of a crusty spider it scuttles towards me. I can’t move. Its salamander head is full of protruding sharp teeth. It looks at me. I can’t move. In the moment when my heart is about to burst with fear, it quickly scuttles away. I hear it scuttle down the hallway. I hear it scuttle all the way down to the basement.

Nightmare#4

Nothing can see me now. I am obliterated. I am a floating head aimlessly drifting among the fifth dimension. I pause. This point in time I have already seen. I have already witnessed. The maze is upon me as I have already revisited a different version. Cold bricks line the walls around me, so cool they seem without the sense of touch. I float along. I continue down the twisted tiled path. This place I know is enormous. This place I know has traps everywhere. I find the bathroom area. There are rows and rows of toilets. Old, dirty, dripping toilets and a cold dirty concrete floors. There are no doors for the stalls. There are no accommodations in these bathrooms. There is no sanitation. For some reason I am aware of many floors above me. I am climbing stairs now. Higher and higher I climb until I reach a small stone door in the center of a perfect stone hallway. I push the heavy door open. It scratches the floor. I am now conscious of my body. I see my hands slapping the ground in front of me. I crawl for ages hoping to find the top. At the top I can breath fresh air. At the top I can be free again. Stopping at a split pathway, I look to the left and feel oddness in the distance. I turn to the right and feel sickness breathing it’s putrid breath on me. So I proceed through the left hallway. The hallway is narrow and tight. I squeeze along and think of the freedom, but my hoping is cut short by a movement in the wall. They are sliding now. Slowly they groan against the brick floor. The walls enclose around my slight body. I try to wiggle free, but the ceiling is also descending. I moan with agony and regret! The walls slowly compress my shoulder blades together. I cry out for rescue. The ceiling mounts my body and crushes it  to the floor and stifles my voice. I squirm as the walls burst my skull.

Nightmare #3

The night sky is overwhelming. My eyes behold the planets. They are close and loom overhead with an impending gloom. The magnificent spheres intrude on my thoughts. They are too close. Jupiter is the closest with its gaseous presence it hovers and waits. I wonder what is happening. I wonder why everything is paltry and bland in comparison to the radiant planets and moons. The stars, however, are still very far away. Some of them are moving in a circular motion. Some of them zoom  in straight lines. I am confused. I feel the void. The endless entirety that is everywhere and nowhere. It consumes my human mind.  It creeps up my spine and suffocates me. The world is ending. Unsure about my surroundings, I aimlessly try to find my loved ones. My attempt is short-lived because I know they are already gone. Loneliness shrouds my heart and halts my search. I look up. Saturn is above me, it’s menacing rings are in full view. Such beauty should not be able to evoke such hopelessness, but it does. I know I will die alone.

Nightmare #2

A cold darkness wraps me in its perpetual greed; it takes from my heart, and it takes from my soul. The darkness stifles my caution as I head down the dripping wet hallway. Wooden planks squelch underneath my bold footsteps. I know this house. My mind recognizes it, but my body tells me it is bigger than before. I don’t know where I am going. Many different doors line the hallway walls, and I know I cannot enter them.  I walk for days. After some time,  my neck hairs pick up a draft. I pause and turn to my left. There is a door in front of me. This door is large and solid. Flickering light streams from underneath it. Bending down to look underneath the slit, I suddenly feel the urge to enter. This hallway is not safe. Something terrible inhabits this space, so I enter the room and close the door. Inside, I notice the room is generally empty except for an unusually tall china cabinet. The cabinet is decaying and empty and stretches up toward the extremely high ceiling. There is also something else in the room. In the opposite corner sits a television. A flickering silent picture. All of a sudden I hear scratches on the door as they echo loudly in the empty room. Whatever lives out there is after me! I climb the cabinet in a haste for my safety. The scratching continues for awhile then stops suddenly. I wait for a sound. . . .nothing. I wait for a scratch. . . . my spine curves in a painful shape as I sit and wait atop the wretched furniture. Then the door creaks open an  inch. I hear heavy panting. I see a large white snout. I hear panting and I see teeth.  I see numerous white, long, sharp, protruding teeth. At this moment I realize I am not safe in this room. I should not have chosen this room. I look over and the creature is beside me! It’s hot breath steams my exposed neck. It is small and muscular. An eyeless head with an immense open mouth is around my neck. I know if I don’t move it won’t bite down. If I shiver, each of those long, crooked-sharp teeth will puncture my throat. It pants heavier, wanting me to move, wishing me to submit. In a split decision I turn to jump and it clamps! It clamps so hard my eyes bulge with suffocation!  Each set of knife teeth, both top and bottom, impale my soft, neck flesh. With each wince of pain it chews. My spinal cord relaxes. I let it finish.

Nightmare #1

I open my grey eyes. I yawn away the sleepiness. Shaded shapes in the room turn into focus around me. My room is quiet and cool and safe. My bed is soft. I turn to look at the window, but the window is not open. I do not remember closing it. The hour of night is uncertain. There is no wind outside, because I do not hear the trees tapping on the window glass. Getting up to look out my window, I notice that my legs feel lighter as a step. I look.  I can only see blackness on the window’s face. I see my pale reflection staring back into my confused eyes and then spotting the door behind me. I ponder as I stare at its silent reflection. I do not remember closing it. Turning to the bedroom door, I hesitate only a moment before I twist its silver handle. The door is heavier than I thought.  The hallway is dark and shadowy. The hallway is longer. The hallway is quiet, and I don’t hear my family sleeping. Their doors are closed. The handles are missing. A horrific familiarity unzips my spine. Cold needles poke my scalp. I don’t want to go downstairs, but I keep walking. The wooden stairs are unstable. The handrail is missing. With each step I involuntarily take; I remember why the window and doors are closed. It closed them. With each step I am closer to the only way out of my dark house. This one I know is open. Loud heartbeats thrust against my ribcage. Now the door to the outside is in front of my small shaking body. The handle is black and cold. I see it turn slowly. I don’t want to go out there! Some sort of magnetism pulls me closer and closer until the door swings open and I am flung outside! The neighborhood is gone! In its place is a strange plain. A never ending plain of cracked black mud with pulsating lava underneath me. The sky is a hazy purple bruise. I see a horizon splattered with blood red thunderclouds and inky tornados in the distance. I am terrified! I know what is coming. There is nowhere to hide. My nightmare is above me. It breathes fear into my spine and hopelessness into my heart. I cannot move. With an inaudible voice it terrorizes my mind. This is the end. This is hopelessness. I am sick with internal mutilation. I am suffocated by the nightmare as it feeds on my throat. I don’t move. The ground turns sticky and begins to swallow me whole! The tornados swirl closer, the sky shades darker. I would scream if I still had a mouth, but my skin is melting. I get a glimpse of the nightmare as it forces me into the ground. I see sinew and scales and darkness. Its needle fangs prick my eyes. Red fills my mind. I won’t wake up from this nightmare.

"Contortions"

A contorted horizon confuses me, with its thunderclouds looming and bent.

I strain to see through the shatters, and behold a disturbing luminescence,

Twisting in and out of the cloud cracks it glows thick and translucent and colorful.

The earth tilts on its side and I grab hold, but the wind blows me towards the vortex, where only the spidery rainbow follows.

I am frightened.